Horoscopes for the Undeserving
February 28, 2001
Aries Lottery WinnersYour fabulous wealth will allow you to buy vicious dogs to fend yourself from the needling requests of friends and relatives. You'll live to be a hundred and your wealth will never give out, your only dying regret will be that you could have spent more, indulging yourself to a greater degree. Taurus Personal Injury AttorneysAfter winning a...
Aries Lottery WinnersYour fabulous wealth will allow you to buy vicious dogs to fend yourself from the needling requests of friends and relatives. You'll live to be a hundred and your wealth will never give out, your only dying regret will be that you could have spent more, indulging yourself to a greater degree. Taurus Personal Injury AttorneysAfter winning a...
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February 27, 2001
Scott appraised the speedometer with a cool eye, checking it against the clock. A smirk played at the corner of his lips, a twinkle in his slate blue eyes. He was going to be ten minutes late, just the way he wanted it! His strong hands gripped the steering wheel, his sensuous fingers guiding the wheel in skillful, minute adjustments,...
Scott appraised the speedometer with a cool eye, checking it against the clock. A smirk played at the corner of his lips, a twinkle in his slate blue eyes. He was going to be ten minutes late, just the way he wanted it! His strong hands gripped the steering wheel, his sensuous fingers guiding the wheel in skillful, minute adjustments,...
There's No Pleasing Electrons
February 23, 2001
Does anything feel as good as doing something new? That whole beautiful feeling of pushing new stuff into your brain, of figuring out how to do something that you just weren't able to do before; that you weren't even able to conceive yourself of ever being capable of. You can all but feel your brain expanding in your head, like...
Does anything feel as good as doing something new? That whole beautiful feeling of pushing new stuff into your brain, of figuring out how to do something that you just weren't able to do before; that you weren't even able to conceive yourself of ever being capable of. You can all but feel your brain expanding in your head, like...
Center Stage
February 22, 2001
A key problem with having a public space is that you grow to hate doing anything clever in private. J~ had written a cool little toy, which he made publicly available at http://dbz.nu/x/capture/, and no one had put anything cool in it yet, so he was lamenting the lack of clever uses of his new toy. I wrote back, "Like...
A key problem with having a public space is that you grow to hate doing anything clever in private. J~ had written a cool little toy, which he made publicly available at http://dbz.nu/x/capture/, and no one had put anything cool in it yet, so he was lamenting the lack of clever uses of his new toy. I wrote back, "Like...
Fill Out In Triplicate
February 21, 2001
If I had a nickel for the copies of these I haven't responded to, I could afford to eat at Wendy's all week long. But then I got a copy from a newish friend who I like who didn't know all my stories already. So, thinking it would be a good exercise to spawn further conversations, I choked down my...
If I had a nickel for the copies of these I haven't responded to, I could afford to eat at Wendy's all week long. But then I got a copy from a newish friend who I like who didn't know all my stories already. So, thinking it would be a good exercise to spawn further conversations, I choked down my...
Don't Lend Me Stuff
February 20, 2001
Don't lend me stuff. I know this is not a topic of general interest, but what with people being so nice all the time, and wanting to be helpful and stuff, it seems worth mentioning that trying to be helpful to me in the form of lending me stuff is almost always a bad idea. I love borrowing, but I...
Don't lend me stuff. I know this is not a topic of general interest, but what with people being so nice all the time, and wanting to be helpful and stuff, it seems worth mentioning that trying to be helpful to me in the form of lending me stuff is almost always a bad idea. I love borrowing, but I...
Snow Days
February 19, 2001
M~: "Let me tell you about last night. I was the happiest I've been in months just walking in the snow by myself. I had this smile that wouldn't come off my face, and it was painted there for hours. I think seeing everything so different reminded me about this thing I have for accidental beauty." Grandpa: "Ah the joy...
M~: "Let me tell you about last night. I was the happiest I've been in months just walking in the snow by myself. I had this smile that wouldn't come off my face, and it was painted there for hours. I think seeing everything so different reminded me about this thing I have for accidental beauty." Grandpa: "Ah the joy...
Nomadic Batbelts
February 16, 2001
Have I mentioned yet that I lost my wallet this last weekend? I hope I'm not obsessive about it, but it was a surprisingly traumatic experience. The agony of waiting and hoping and checking voicemail every five minutes, waiting for that good Samaritan to finally call me and let me know they had my wallet for me to pick up,...
Have I mentioned yet that I lost my wallet this last weekend? I hope I'm not obsessive about it, but it was a surprisingly traumatic experience. The agony of waiting and hoping and checking voicemail every five minutes, waiting for that good Samaritan to finally call me and let me know they had my wallet for me to pick up,...
Thoughtful Ways to Return a Wallet
February 15, 2001
Did I mention that I lost my wallet? I was busy and otherwise occupied all weekend long after losing it. I looked to find it, sure. I walked the streets twice, but it wasn't there. Everyone kept asking me if I had called to cancel my credit cards, but I just didn't have the time. I know, I should have...
Did I mention that I lost my wallet? I was busy and otherwise occupied all weekend long after losing it. I looked to find it, sure. I walked the streets twice, but it wasn't there. Everyone kept asking me if I had called to cancel my credit cards, but I just didn't have the time. I know, I should have...
The DOL
February 14, 2001
So, here I am, Monday morning at the DOL. Getting a new license. Because I lost my wallet over the weekend. One of the many, many interesting features of the Department of Licensing is the take-a-number system. You walk in, and the first thing you see is that there is a little kiosk with the top five DOL activities listed...
So, here I am, Monday morning at the DOL. Getting a new license. Because I lost my wallet over the weekend. One of the many, many interesting features of the Department of Licensing is the take-a-number system. You walk in, and the first thing you see is that there is a little kiosk with the top five DOL activities listed...
Wednesday Quiz: Words to Live By
February 13, 2001
You may not believe this, but real life does not accurately reflect TV life. Today's quiz reveals a startling deficit in real life wherein fathers and mothers and indeed their very children lack even the most basic catchphrases so necessary in our modern age for effective marketing. If you are wondering why you don't have a prime-time slot, take careful...
You may not believe this, but real life does not accurately reflect TV life. Today's quiz reveals a startling deficit in real life wherein fathers and mothers and indeed their very children lack even the most basic catchphrases so necessary in our modern age for effective marketing. If you are wondering why you don't have a prime-time slot, take careful...
Oh Yes, I Snore
February 12, 2001
Let me tell you all the terrible things about being in the same room with me while I sleep. I snore. Oh yes, I snore. And not that cute little "yes, the baby is still breathing" reassuring sort of snore. Oh no. This snore is the type that convinces coma patients in the hospital ten miles south that it would...
Let me tell you all the terrible things about being in the same room with me while I sleep. I snore. Oh yes, I snore. And not that cute little "yes, the baby is still breathing" reassuring sort of snore. Oh no. This snore is the type that convinces coma patients in the hospital ten miles south that it would...
Stalking the Mentally Ill (IV)
February 09, 2001
Part 4 of 4 (part 1, part 2 & Wednesday Quiz, part 3) It's the oldest, cheesiest pickup in the history of humanity. Cavemen used this same ploy to trick the cave women into sharing their food. I won't even bore you with the play by play. I am watching what CDs she looks most seriously at, and grabbing a...
Part 4 of 4 (part 1, part 2 & Wednesday Quiz, part 3) It's the oldest, cheesiest pickup in the history of humanity. Cavemen used this same ploy to trick the cave women into sharing their food. I won't even bore you with the play by play. I am watching what CDs she looks most seriously at, and grabbing a...
Stalking the Mentally Ill (III)
February 08, 2001
Part 3 of 4 (part 1, part 2 & Wednesday Quiz) Day 3, in which nothing happens but I fill in some back story. I dreamt about Janie last night. I'd tell you about it, but it was very, very sexual. I am so happy that she is as pretty as she is. I can't wait to get to know...
Part 3 of 4 (part 1, part 2 & Wednesday Quiz) Day 3, in which nothing happens but I fill in some back story. I dreamt about Janie last night. I'd tell you about it, but it was very, very sexual. I am so happy that she is as pretty as she is. I can't wait to get to know...
Stalking the Mentally Ill (II)
February 07, 2001
Part 2 of 4 (part 1)or, Jump to the Wednesday Quiz. Driving to her apartment complex, I wondered if Janie would really have blond hair. I wondered what color her eyes were. On the phone, she seemed pretty literate and smart, but not too smart. And she certainly seemed to connect with me on the phone. I just can't help...
Part 2 of 4 (part 1)or, Jump to the Wednesday Quiz. Driving to her apartment complex, I wondered if Janie would really have blond hair. I wondered what color her eyes were. On the phone, she seemed pretty literate and smart, but not too smart. And she certainly seemed to connect with me on the phone. I just can't help...
Stalking the Mentally Ill
February 06, 2001
Part 1 of 4 [Ugh, yes, four parts. Apologies. If you want to skip the whole fictitious mess, you can come back on Wednesday for the Wednesday Quiz, which is going to rock. And then on Saturday, when normal programming resumes. Quiz results will be posted Monday instead of Friday.] Day 1, in which I meet the girl of my...
Part 1 of 4 [Ugh, yes, four parts. Apologies. If you want to skip the whole fictitious mess, you can come back on Wednesday for the Wednesday Quiz, which is going to rock. And then on Saturday, when normal programming resumes. Quiz results will be posted Monday instead of Friday.] Day 1, in which I meet the girl of my...
Another Seeking Soul
February 05, 2001
[Another bit of found writing today. I don't remember what book I wandered across this in. But check it out, another person in pursuit of bettering themselves, changing their perspective, becoming a better person. And here I thought I was the only person on Earth who didn't have it all together yet. What I like about this dude, and oh...
[Another bit of found writing today. I don't remember what book I wandered across this in. But check it out, another person in pursuit of bettering themselves, changing their perspective, becoming a better person. And here I thought I was the only person on Earth who didn't have it all together yet. What I like about this dude, and oh...
Wednesday Quiz: Cola Dreamin'
February 02, 2001
So, if I asked you what soda personifies you what would it be? Not really the deepest question you will be asked to answer in your life, but interesting because you end up thinking about your self image and about how all the colas of the world are building little fictitious self-images for themselves. It's like if I asked you...
So, if I asked you what soda personifies you what would it be? Not really the deepest question you will be asked to answer in your life, but interesting because you end up thinking about your self image and about how all the colas of the world are building little fictitious self-images for themselves. It's like if I asked you...
Bible Shoes
February 01, 2001
Over the shoulder of a lady reading, I read what looked like a lesson plan. It had bulletin board ideas, and had that special school-photocopy look. I don't know what it is about school or institutional copies, whether they can only get toner that's a 90% grey or what, but you can always tell. Then my eyes caught the word...
Over the shoulder of a lady reading, I read what looked like a lesson plan. It had bulletin board ideas, and had that special school-photocopy look. I don't know what it is about school or institutional copies, whether they can only get toner that's a 90% grey or what, but you can always tell. Then my eyes caught the word...