While showering at work this
morning, enjoying the thrill of being href="http://www.scottmcj.com/data/000354.shtml"
target=_blank>naked at my place of
employment, surrounded by my co-workers, my
thoughts wandered back to when a friend was
telling me about his recent sexual adventures at
work. At the time my response was pretty banal,
I am sure. If I had been clever, it would have
been something gross along the lines of, ?well,
that sure brings new meaning to the milking room
(yes, in addition to a shower conference room,
we also sport a breast feeding conference
room).? In real life, I am sure I responded more
along the lines of ?good for you.? What, after
all, do you say in response to the news that
someone has fornicated at work? Before the fact,
I could have cheerled. ?Oh yeah, man, you got to
do it. I dare you to do it in the lobby.? During
the act, well, I really had no role to play. And
it turns out there is not much for you to do
after the fact but affirm and support. The
thought never occurred to me until this morning
that there might be other reactions entirely.
Like ?gross? or ?it is morally wrong to have sex
at the place of your employment. you are
betraying a sacred trust? or ?no way! are you
insane?? Because, to my understanding, everyone
has sex at work. Everyone. If you do not
have sex at work, you should comment below and
let me know. For the vast rest of you who of
course do have sex at work, no reply is
necessary, because we all know it is true. Who
can resist the lure of sneaky sex at the place
that gives you free money just for showing up
and hanging around for a few hours a day? Less
risky than a truly public place, and yet spicier
because if someone does show up, it is going to
be someone you know and the repercussions are
potentially much greater. Work sex still has the
allure of forbidden fruit, despite the fact that
even after closely reviewing the employee
handbook, I cannot find a single word in it
forbidding nookie in the milking room.
Embarrassing oversight or implicit permission?
Hard to say. And I am not saying that everyone
is doing it during work hours proper. The
during-work-hours on-premises sexers are a
slightly more exclusive subset of the
universally inclusive on-premises sexers. DWH
OPS makes for slightly more horrifying stories,
I think. I remember keenly when C~, a driver
when I worked at the CU, was caught in the act
during lunch hours on the roof with (as I
recall) a female custodian. The roof?!! I mean,
it might have been fine had the roof not been
clearly visible from several surrounding
buildings. Ick. These were not people you wanted
to see naked, much less having sex. As for me,
all I can say is that I could have relaxed and
enjoyed it more had there only been one key to
the supply room. Oh, Lord, the porn I could
write. And really, what is sexier than
repurposing the desk that you use to such boring
purposes all day every day? In broad terms,
though, under what circumstances should you be
anything but supportive of the impulse to have
sex at work? As long as it stays completely
invisible and leaves no traces, and we speak
about it only in the abstract, is there a
problem? Is there even a moral or ethical
dilemma here? Or is it strictly a practical one;
weighing out the pleasures versus the
consequences of getting caught and facing
discipline, possible firing, and becoming a
story that people (like Scott) will remember and
recount (possibly online) for the next ten
years? To my mind, it really is just practical
considerations and risk analyses. But perhaps
there are important principles at stake that I
am just not seeing but which are crystal clear
to everyone else. I am still working on the
truth that everyone else is not just href="http://www.scottmcj.com/data/000020.shtml"
target=_blank>like me.