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My two little dwarf hamsters are utterly adorable, but not doing anything particularly photo-worthy. I had imagined that they would be doing all sorts of darling things that I absolutely had to get on film immediately and share with y'all, but it just has not happened.
For sure, they are as darling as the day is long, and their little micro-movements just make you melt with happiness, and they are fun to hold and feed and play God with. But at the end of the day, they are still rodents. They are not making any good use of the rodent-sized chess board I gave them ("no, Juliet! How many times do I have to explain that knights move in capital L's?"), nor do they make good chess pieces themselves ("no, Juliet! How many times to do I have to explain that knights move in capital L's?").
The mock Lincoln-Douglass debate was a disaster; probably the first time in history that a politician actually did eat his hat. And the Kennedy assassination recreation was also a complete loss ? she totally gave away her position behind the grassy knoll. And do not even get me started on the Leonardo DiCaprio/Kate Winslet "I can fly!" Titanic recreation ? totally overacted right down the line (on Leo's part, that is. The hamsters were fine).
I have named the mother and daughter Gertrude and Juliet, in the sense that adding a Romeo or Hamlet to the cage would be nothing but problems. In truth, I have no idea which is Juliet, and which is Gertrude. For the last three days, I have been trying like mad to find some physical characteristic to tell them apart, but all in vain; they are Xerox copies of each other. Same stripes, same coloration on the ears, same noses, everything.
My last-resort plan is to mark them with a permanent marker. Perhaps a giant G and J on their backs. I hesitate only because I do not know how well you can ink fur, and they do so much grooming that they might wipe out the letters by the time I get back from work (and maybe permanent ink is not healthy for them, either).
Plus, how demeaning is that? How would I have felt if my parents had tattooed an S on my forehead and a P on my brother's, instead of just making us wear the name badges?
If they can make dwarf hamsters, why couldn't they make giant hamsters? I, for one, would like to see hamsters the size of humans. Even at that size, they would still only weigh something like twenty pounds, and would be all fluff and excess skin. You could go for walks with them, talking about all your problems. They could take up the extra chair at dinner parties where, to your horror, you have ended up with an odd number of guests. You could strap them into the passenger seat and use the carpool lane.
Giant hamsters would rock. Their hamster balls would be huge! American Gladiator vs. Giant Hamsters. Need I say more? Hello ? Fox? Dang, if you are not for the giant hamsters, you are helping the terrorists.
I had to fill out an Adoption Questionnaire (where questionnaire was spelled ?Questionaire?), which was primarily composed of questions to make sure you were not being stupid and had thought through some of the issues of pest ownership:
8) Is this small animal a gift? [] Yes [x] No If yes, for whom? ___Except insofar as it is a fuzzy gift of hyperactive wonderfulness.___
13) What will happen to the small animal if you go on vacation or out of town? ___Despite my warnings to behave, I expect they?ll have a kegger, leading to comic hi-jinks. (neighbor)___
20) Under what circumstances would you not keep this small animal? ___If it mutated into an enormous beast that devoured houses as kibble. (none)___
And so on. Someday, dealing with my exasperated feelings of being treated like an idiot by being a smart-ass in return is not going to be okay. I am in trouble when that day arrives. Today, however, was not that day, as when I handed in my forms, they did not even look at them, they just handed me other printouts and told me to go to the other office to pay the adoption fee.
Presumably, the hamsters will get their act together once they are fully acclimatized to my house, and I will be able to share pictures of unbearable cuteness. Until then, I can do nothing but apologize for all the unfulfilled potential.
i like your web site, but i am asking how do you feed, house, and be a great owner without killing them. i can't find the answer! please help thanks.
Posted by: Lauren on January 24, 2004 04:59 PMi have two dwarf hamsters but the older one just doesn't get along with the new one i got
Posted by: on February 9, 2004 04:04 PMi have a dwarf hamster, too. he is very cute!his name is billybobjoe!
Posted by: kay-ka on February 12, 2004 09:21 AMi have a drawf hamster and his name is titch! he's so cute and i love him to bits! ilike ur website but it needs more pages maybe tell us if u would like to breed and just other stuff really!
Posted by: chloe on March 14, 2004 04:58 AMAwww I love pet hamsters they are so cute but everyone looks at me weird when I lick their genitals and I do not know why... imagine a hamster facial LMFAO thatd so be erotic anyway anyone who wants to see me give head to my dog hehe nope no takers
Posted by: Dan on March 25, 2004 08:44 PMI'm going to be getting a dwarf hamster but apperintly they are rare. My friend has two and they mated, I Samantha Mark and i'm wondering will two dwarf hamsters of the oppasite sex but still from the same litter mate?
Posted by: Samantha on March 28, 2004 06:47 PMyou people are freaks..
Posted by: moose on May 3, 2004 07:51 PMhey,
this is Tyler.my mom hamster just had 6 babies. isperated the brother from the mother and babies cause i heard that the brothers and sisters would eat the babies.did i do the right thing.email me back thatnk you. Tyler
Hey Moose, Don't be rude!
Anyway I'm owned by 3 cute campbell dwarf hamsters, Spikey, Brownie, and Spark. I have had those cute critters for over 2 years..I
m hoping to get a pair of robos next. And whoever is the owner of this site could you please put in informative sites because your story didn't make sense to me.Thanks anyway
Hello! Your website is cute. My family was recently was adopted by a Campbell Dwarf Hamster named Boinks (the kids named him). At least, I am assuming that he is a Campbell from what I have been reading about them (he's the no-bite variety - make sure he has food, though, or he will try to eat your finger!!!). I'd have to say that he is quite adorable and full of character. I think that he has just realized that there is a whole other world outside of his cage - we caught him watching us from his cage tonight. At night he is NOISY! He is definately nocturnal. I wake up two-three times a night to the hamster wheel squeaking. Anyway, once again your website is cute - I will have to check back in someday. Bye!
Posted by: Michelle on June 29, 2004 07:57 PMI have a russian dwarf named madge. be careful, female hamsters go through heat...and it's no fun. she's adorable and eats like a pig...and she is a bitter. but i still love her to death. also, woodchips helps to keep them cleaner and of a nicer smell. i just switched from grassy/hay to wood chips..with choloraphyl in it as well. now my mom isnt complaining how horrible the house smells anymore, lol. good luck to all of you!
Posted by: Michele Monico on July 1, 2004 01:57 PMI have a hamster named Larry. (He is a dwarf)I have been reading about hamsters alot lately and there is this really good website they tell you EVERYTHING about hamsters possible! www.petwebsite.com ! good luck!
Posted by: F. on July 8, 2004 10:36 AMhi i breed campbell dwarf hamsters as my hobby.it is really fun apart from i have to clean alot of cages every couples of days.i hava alot of hamsters but my favorite one is barney.barney is a baige campbell dwarf hamster.the color is rare.if anyone wants to buy a campbell dwarf hamster e-mail me at buddy12377@msn.com
i sell them cheap.
thanks
Rosie
Madge passed yesterday...I am really upset. I ended up buying two new babies from the same batch because I couldn't bare to look at an empty cage. It ends up just being worse because they aren't Madge. The babies have same mom and dad, but one is blonde and the other is brown, like madge. I call them Coco and Cream. It's going to take some getting used to. The worse part is that it is my fault Madge passed on. I will never forgive myself. Cherish your little hamsters to death :)
Posted by: Michele Monico on August 4, 2004 06:24 AMI love cute adborable hamsters!
Posted by: katie on October 18, 2004 09:27 AMi have a hamster and i love it to death. wierd but true, and i have him 4 years in december and hes not doing well. :( i want him to be better because hes bleeding and hes not eating or drinking, is there anything i can do or is he just to old?
Posted by: D on November 6, 2004 09:59 AMi have 2 dwarf hamsters knwo i have eight!! she had six babies even though the place told me they were both girls!!
Posted by: sarah on November 8, 2004 05:47 PMi have a drawf hamster do you know what kind of bedding to use? i use wood shavings but what kind of shavings?[ceder,pine,etc.].
Posted by: tyranny on January 28, 2005 10:27 AMEmail scottmcj hat scottmcj daht com : © scottmcj
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