Hawaii

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[Scott! Being a smartass at work! Newsworthy! But maybe someday I will go to Hawaii, so it would be nice to know what to do by having logged this stuff now. Plus, if anyone wants to hook up do any of the below here in Seattle, I think it?d be great fun of a Saturday afternoon. ?...and they give you a real duck! To keep!?]

----Original Message----
From: Scott McJannet
Sent: Friday, August 16, 2002 12:57 PM
To: KC; Crap; JD; JR; Josh
Subject: RE: [non-crap] Things to do in Hawaii

You see, I see this discussion, and I see exactly what is wrong with America today (you know, besides Wayne "Checkbook" Shattenkerk running off with $6,000 shower curtains).

We are feeding Josh's schluffing of responsibility for his own vacation. "Be passive, Josh," we say, "let Hawaii's beauty do all the work, go to this place, get your brains dashed out against a reef, balance on the rim of a volcano. It'll be great."

America should be saying, "do not ask what Hawaii can do you for you, Josh, ask what you can do for Hawaii." Suggestions:

* Become Tourist Archetypes. Is it possible to be an �ber-Tourist in Hawaii, or are the islands already mockeries of themselves? Wear your brightest gaudiest clothing and never than three leis, get incredibly sunburned, never go anywhere without a pineapple drink with little paper umbrellas in hand, comment very loudly on everything you see, affecting a midwestern accent if you can. "Look at the manhole cover, C~! Do we have them like that at home?"

* Be a Tourist Poseur. I am picturing a black-on-black hawaiian print shirt, black pants, black Birks. Make constant asides to everyone you pass, sotto voce. "They call that a luau? We have -much- more authentic luau's on capitol hill." "Well, I suppose SOME people will try to surf any little disturbance in the water." "James was so right, the beaches are better in his cat's litter box than here."

* Do the Promoter. Pick three attractions, refuse to learn a single thing about them, and promote them relentlessly to everyone you meet with any lie that comes to mind. "Have you tried this bike tour up the mountain? A singing Elvis impersonator leads every tour!" "You have got to do this glass-bottomed boat tour! There is a secret contest that whoever uses the word 'turtle' in the most questions gets three nights free at the hotel!" "...and it turns out the lava isn't really all that hot after all these years. They don't let you go in because they don't want all the tourists to pollute it, but as long as you do it out of site of the tour group, you can just dive right in. It's like swimming in warm jello -- the most amazingly sensual experience of my life."

----Original Message----
From: KC
Sent: Friday, August 16, 2002 12:14 PM
To: Crap
Subject: FW: [non-crap] Things to do in Hawaii

Also on the windward side of Oahu... rent kayaks in Kailua (ML?s home town) and paddle out to the little island off the beach there. Be sure to get instructions on how to get through the island's breaking surf at the kayak shop. They have spectacular pictures... and the island is very cool (uninhabited).

Also, the North Shore of Oahu has cool funky shops (but it's a bit touristy).

----Original Message----
From: JD
Sent: Friday, August 16, 2002 9:54 AM
To: JR; Josh; Crap
Subject: RE: [non-crap] Things to do in Hawaii

On Oahu:

1) On the windward coast, there is a muddy trail that goes up a steep hill to an overlook to the bay, which is also an old offering point to the Akule fish. Make your offering, or the Kahuna will get you.

2) Just north of the windward coast, there is a trail that goes back to a dry fall and a wet fall (where you can swim). Watch out during the rainy season, as the trail floods with water during flash floods.

----Original Message----
From: JR
Sent: Friday, August 16, 2002 9:45 AM
To: Josh; Crap
Subject: RE: [non-crap] Things to do in Hawaii

On Maui (been there a ton, parents live there, now):

1) If you like hiking, hike down into the crater of Haleakala -- the hike starts at about 8000' and decends about 2000' into the crater -- it's like the moon down there, but the hike into the crater is rather lush. Or just drive to the top and look around.

2) A lot of people drive to Hana. The drive is short, about 60 miles, but it takes like 4 hours, so you might want to REALLY decide if you want to go...

3) The Io valley is an historic site for the Hawaiians, the site of a battle between Maui and Hawaii. Not sure that there's much there of historic interest, but the valley is super lush, and the rocks are quite eroded and very pretty.

4) Surf lessons -- take them in Lahaina, not in Kihei

Never been to Oahu...

J

----Original Message----
From: Josh
Sent: Friday, August 16, 2002 9:41 AM
To: Crap
Subject: [non-crap] Things to do in Hawaii

So I'm going to Hawaii for the first part of next month, and we're looking for stuff to do. I'm sure lots of you have been... I'd appreciate your recommendations on things to do, especially off-the-beaten-path sorts of things that aren't listed in the inflight magazine. I'll be on both Maui and Oahu.

thanks,
-josh