Alphabetology
[ABWAG - this has
got to be the worst Web site on the planet. The perfect combination of worst
layout and worst content. It is easy to have a horrifying design, heck, MSWord
will do that for you. But to have content that extensive and that bad... then
you are talking magic.]
Letters have personality. This is, I trust, such an obvious truth that it
needs no supporting evidence. Anyone who has played Scrabble has surely screamed
at the Q to have a little more confidence in itself and not always need the
reassuring company of the U. And the snotty little iconoclastic J that you just
know is sneering at you for squandering it on Jar or Jab instead of jejunum or
jacinths.
Some letters fit very well in their slot of the alphabet. A, for instance, is
a great leader. All the vowels are in a special clique, for sure, but A does not
have any of the ego that I does, and is not in the least bit exclusionary. A is
like the captain of the football team who is nonetheless a great guy and friends
with everyone, vowels and consonants alike, and is just really wonderful to chat
with.
But why did S and T do to get thrust so far back in the alphabet? These are
heavy-duty, hard-hitting letters. Why did they get stuck back by the slacker
section of V, W, X, and Z?
So here is a frequency table of the letters as used in the English
language, compliments of the fine folk at ThinkQuest.
Combine the two, and you get the new science of Alphabetology.
When you sit down to write, what all goes into that? Sure, the conscious mind
chooses the ideas to write about, but what made you use the word "tentative"
instead of "cautious"? Word choice is all about the subconscious, and the words
are important.
Sometimes you consciously pick out words, sure, but the vast majority of the
time you just write, and your subconscious supplies the appropriate words to
fill the intent of what you want to say.
And the subconscious picks words based on the occurrence of letters in the
words that more naturally accord with your personality. If you are a
blend-in-with-the-crowd guy, you would shy away from using a lot of x's. If you
are perhaps narcissistic, you might overuse i's. If you are an outdoorsy type,
there may be a propensity towards r's. And so forth.
The analogy is handwriting analysis. You do not think about how you loop your
g's and cross your t's, or whether to slope the text forward or back. You just
write the words you want, and it is totally unintended that the manner of your
writing also happens to tell a fair bit about how you see yourself.
Thus, Alphabetology. If I have the personalities of the letters right (and I
am not saying I do, yet. Please email
me with any suggestions for corrections), then all that remains is for Josh or Sid to code it up and allow
us to enter a sample of text, and then have the program read back the results.
Josh already has the foundation of this in his keystroke program. All
you have to do is take that, parse out the letters, pull and display the
results. It is perfect in that it keeps record of your corrections -- for there
are no accidental letters in Alphabetology.
The Letters
| E |
| The e is effacingly self-confident. It knows it is the most
popular letter. It knows there is a place for it wherever it chooses
to go. The e is the epitome of free. It has nothing to prove, and
thus can pursue whatever pleases it best. |
| Overusing the e is a sign of self-confidence taken too far. In
your favour are boundless vistas and a sense of your reach being
limited only by your imagination. However, the reality may be that
you come off blustery and trying too hard. |
| Underusing the e is the opposite problem. You are too
self-effacing. You may know you are all kinds of cool, but in an
effort not to be perceived as mainstream or overconfident, you end
up being underestimated and unknown. As the Seattle Rep Theatre
likes to say, "Heaven doth with us as we with torches do, / Not
light them for themselves; for if our virtues / Did not go forth of
us 't were all alike As if we had them not."
| |
| T |
| The t is an essentially upbeat and chipper fellow, though
it does carry with it a fastidious and precise nature. The
sharp two lines, forming right angles, ideally mathematically
exact is what the T is all about. The T is still furious about
what was done to it in upper-case cursive. |
| Overusing the t is showing off your well-structured and
precise mental pathways. You like your toothbrush just two
inches from your toothpaste, and always hang up your clothes
the moment they come out of the dryer. But, does your precise
nature deny you free-thinking fun? |
| Underusing the t may indicate a propensity towards
slovenly habits. You like a swirl of activity without really
caring that some things get lost in the mess. But are you
losing valuables in the chaos?
| |
| N |
| The n is not an attention hog. It is a natural chap,
genuine in interactions with other letters, and an all
around solid middle guy. You would not think of having a
dinner party without the n, but it is not going to
provide you with the most scintillating gems to mull
over while you eat. |
| Overusing the n shows you are solid in the middle
and really like being there. You might, in fact, be
working a little too hard to occupy the middle ground.
Yes, no one gets offended, but are you over-n'ing to
avoid the risk of exposing your own thoughts? |
| Underusing the n may indicate that you are
ill-at-ease with most other people. Preferring to live
on the fringes, you seek company that would no more have
a dinner party than they would use the word
'scintillating'.
| |
| R
|
| "Russell, a name which to Arthur's mind always
suggested burly men with blond mustaches and
blow-dried hair who would at the slightest
provocation start wearing velvet tuxedos and
frilly shirt fronts and would then have to be
forcibly restrained from commentating on billiards
matches." Sorry, I cannot think of R without
thinking of that quote. But beyond the quote, r is
an outdoorsy kind of letter. Rough, courageous,
and rugged. |
| Overusing the r is going from outdoorsy to
mountain-man-y. You are stepping into primordial
territory here. Go ahead. Growl. Grrrr... It is
all r's. And maybe that is okay. Primeval has a
certain directness of experience going for it.
Rah. But just remember, cave men did not have
Almond M&M's. |
| Underusing the r may show a certain lack of
willingness to engage your environment fully. Are
you over processing experience? Living too much in
your mind and not enough in the fresh air?
| |
| I |
| Ah, I. The ego letter. God bless I, and god
bless the first person. I just loves that it is
associated with the first number. Makes up a bit
for the slight of getting edged out for the head
of the alphabet where you know it should be. The
I may be self-important, but it is also very
self-assured, and not in a way that needs
external validation. While not anti-social, the
I is nonetheless entirely happy to stand alone.
|
| Overusing the I certainly raises the
eyebrows and makes one wonder if one might not
be a little narcissistic. On the other hand,
there certainly is something to be said for not
basing too much of your self-worth on what other
people think. |
| Underusing the I might indicate a lack of
assertiveness. You know you have important
things to say, but are you uncomfortable jumping
into the fray and ensuring that you are heard?
But maybe it leads to the super-power of being
able to submit your thoughts in an ego-less way,
making them more palatable to others and more
likely to be accepted.
| |
| O |
| Ah, sweet, innocent, young, romantic and
slightly naive o. The o is just so pleased to be
wherever it ends up, ready for any experience,
happy to help out. Delighted to just roll with
the flow and trust in others to conclude the
word successfully. |
| Overusing the o shows an open and accepting
nature. You enjoy new experiences and have the
ability to see them with young eyes. You might
be too uncritical, however, and find yourself
being taken advantage of. |
| Underusing the o may point to a jaded, and
self-protecting nature. Maybe you have been
burned before, and have sworn never again. It
keeps you from unnecessary pain, but also
deprives you of unexpected surprises.
| |
| A |
| As before, A is a great leader. All the
vowels are in a special clique, for sure, but A
does not have any of the ego that I does. A is
like the captain of the football team who is
nonetheless a great guy and friends with
everyone, vowels and consonants alike, and is
just really wonderful to chat with. |
| Overusing the a is maybe someone who
desperately wants to be a leader. Perhaps they
see themselves in a strong leader role, and it
is all tied up with their idea of what it means
to be a success. Yet the overuse smacks of
trying too hard, which is never cool. And cool
is what the A is all about. |
| Underusing the a might show that you are
afraid of the limelight. The responsibility of
heading the alphabet is just a burden you are
not enthused about carrying. Some people like
public speaking, others hate it. Such is the
shape of the world.
| |
|
Okay, suddenly it occurs to me just how many
letters there are in the alphabet (twenty-six,
in fact. I counted. Twice). This is going to
take forever. Or at least, into tomorrow and
possibly Wednesday.
| | | | | | |
